Gingers of the world unite

On the third of March 2010 a trio of ginger-haired men started joking about writing a magazine for gingers. As the hours passed, they realized that this was no laughing matter.

It was what the world needed.

The League of Ordinary Gingermen was formed. A gingerman is the equivalent of the ordinary human "gentleman". It is a title of respect and responsibility towards your fellow gingerman. It is an old word, like "police man". We tend to think of it, as "gingerperson". But it just doesn’t have the same ring to it. So to all our ginger sisters out there; you too can become a ginger"man".

We would also like to stress the point that we are not extraordinary gingermen. We are just as freckled and redheaded as you are. Nothing less, nothing more.

We are the people. We demand equality. We demand that gingerism be put on the global agenda. Join us, in this most worthy of causes.

And so it came to be, that three gingers started a crusade. A crusade to unite the clans behind a common cause. A crusade to let the world know.

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The ginger manifesto
By The League of Ordinary Gingermen

In this document are listed the goals of The League of Ordinary Gingermen. The League was formed with this very purpose in mind, and the declaration is signed by the three original founders. It is our goal to achieve:

1)Equality. This is our primary goal, and by far the hardest to achieve. In most western countries, there are equal rights for men and women. Racism is frowned upon, and is even illegal in some countries. And we applaud and salute that. But as this is written, gingers all over the world are still being ridiculed, harrased and publicly humiliated. Children are taught to fear and hate the gingers, taught by the ignorance of their parents. We will stand for it no longer. Gingerism has no place in a civilised world. Gingerism must end. Now!

2)The first ginger-american president. As with Barack Obama, a ginger president of the United States of America would represent hope. The United States of America is considered the leader of the free world, and it would send a powerful message to the rest of the world, should the United States elect an openly ginger president.
2A. The League of Ordinary Gingermen would like to nominate an appropriate candidate for the presidency. In our opinion the right man for the job would be Mr. Conan O'brien. This is a man, who is highly intelligent, well-educated, well-spoken and has good connections. He is used to dealing with the media, and would not buckle under the pressure of criticism and questions from journalists, as we have seen these past presidencies (George W. Bush, Bill Clinton). And best of all, Mr. Conan O'brien has recently become available for the job.

3)The removal of mandatory Physical Education from schools. Experience tell us, that people with red hair, on average, perform much worse at sports and other physical activities than non-gingers. If we are to raise our children to be the best they can be, it is important that we play to their strengths, instead of ruining their self-esteem with gymnastic and athletic exercise. Putting ginger children through this only fuels the taunts and slurs that other children bestow upon them. We do not demand the complete removal of sports from schools, only that it no longer will be mandatory. Remember that the children are our future.

4)That red hair will not be seen as a weakness. Due to years of extensive gingerism, people tend to associate gingers with traits such as pale skin, poor upperbody strength and lack of straight line speed and acceleration. In the middle ages these were all weaknesses. But today, coupled with an above-average intelligence, these can prove to be strengths. Around 98% of all jobs are performed indoors. The traits of the ginger will ensure that he/her is not wasting valuable work-time by indulging in time-consuming distractions as participating in, watching or talking about sports.

5)It is proposed, that gingers and sympathizers of the cause, celebrate this, the day of the signing, as the International Ginger Day. It should be the day, where we celebrate the accomplishments og gingers and fight for our right to exist.